We all have one, that one opponent that we cannot seem to beat. That enemy that always gets the better of us. The rival that messes with you and at the end of the day comes up on top. How do we finally put this foe down for the count?
To start, we have to identify this thorn in our side. This may surprise many of you, but it’s your ego. I will just give you a minute to sit back and let that sink in. As Deepak Chopra stated: ‘The ego relies on the familiar. It is reluctant to experience the unknown, which is the very essence of life.’
In today’s technological and readily available information world, there are very few absolutes. Water remains wet, fire can still burn you and ice is cold, but most other things are either up for discussion, review or debate. Have you ever been in a discussion where you have refused to even consider that there may be another way, or opinion, besides the one that you are valiantly trying to defend or portray? Why? Could it be your ego is saying to you that there is no way you can be wrong? Could it be that since you have always done it one way, that there is only that way of doing it? Now, go back to that conversation and think of what the outcome was. Was it comfortable? Did you win your argument or point? Or, did the other party just simply give up and let you win? You see, you can actually make three right turns and still be going in the same direction of one left turn. I did not state that another way was more efficient, but we all have to be open to the possibility that there is another way.
Your ego can protect you in that it gives you a sense of being okay when you may be under attack. It gives you the courage to stand up for your beliefs, moral code and your self-esteem. It drives you in the pursuit of excellence. On the other hand, it can also hurt you in that it can try to cash cheques your body is unable to write. Has this thought ever crossed your mind: ‘that doesn’t look so hard.’ Then you go and try it and you know what happened? Yes, it was not only that hard, but you ended up injuring yourself. Have you ever used the statement: ‘Look I know what I am talking about, so listen up.’ or, a variation of that? Now that you actually see it in print, what does it really look like? Arrogant, pushy, uncaring, unmoving, or are you just that big of a pinhead? How can your way be possibly the only way? I go back to the three right turns equals one left scenario. Now don’t get me wrong, I am a person with an incredibly big ego and have been a pinhead, nitwit, cocky, knucklehead and moron, but as life goes on and we learn more and more valuable lessons and grow, I have learned to control my ego, for the most part, instead of letting it control me.
If we look at the definition for ego; a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance, and ask do we give ourselves that importance, or, is it others that decide how important we actually are? Just because I state and think that I am the best, does not necessarily make it so. It does however push us to be better and work at becoming a better person, worker or athlete. I truly believe that we all have an ingrained attitude for winning and that attitude comes from our ego. Without it, we would just simply roll over and not get out of bed in the morning; this is just more prevalent in some than others.
‘Know your enemy and know yourself and you can fight a hundred battles without disaster.’ Sun Tzu.
There it is, the secret to defeating your toughest opponent; be aware of it. In all walks of life be it either personal or professional, it will be there. Be wary of it, know it, embrace it and before you act or say something, decide whether you are in control of it, or, is it controlling you. It’s not easy because you are consciously and constantly in conflict with yourself, but then, there is nothing worth accomplishing that is easy. Think as you are acting or speaking, ‘how would I feel if I was the recipient?’ You may need to apologize more. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that and in today’s business culture, it is actually a sign of strength. Don’t take the giant leap and hurt yourself. Instead, take the four or eight or even twelve steps to get to that same point. Not only will you get there safer, but you get to enjoy the journey so much more. The ego is truly a powerful foe, but also a great ally as long as you know it and realize that it is just a part of your whole being and not the full you. That is, unless you let it.
To start, we have to identify this thorn in our side. This may surprise many of you, but it’s your ego. I will just give you a minute to sit back and let that sink in. As Deepak Chopra stated: ‘The ego relies on the familiar. It is reluctant to experience the unknown, which is the very essence of life.’
In today’s technological and readily available information world, there are very few absolutes. Water remains wet, fire can still burn you and ice is cold, but most other things are either up for discussion, review or debate. Have you ever been in a discussion where you have refused to even consider that there may be another way, or opinion, besides the one that you are valiantly trying to defend or portray? Why? Could it be your ego is saying to you that there is no way you can be wrong? Could it be that since you have always done it one way, that there is only that way of doing it? Now, go back to that conversation and think of what the outcome was. Was it comfortable? Did you win your argument or point? Or, did the other party just simply give up and let you win? You see, you can actually make three right turns and still be going in the same direction of one left turn. I did not state that another way was more efficient, but we all have to be open to the possibility that there is another way.
Your ego can protect you in that it gives you a sense of being okay when you may be under attack. It gives you the courage to stand up for your beliefs, moral code and your self-esteem. It drives you in the pursuit of excellence. On the other hand, it can also hurt you in that it can try to cash cheques your body is unable to write. Has this thought ever crossed your mind: ‘that doesn’t look so hard.’ Then you go and try it and you know what happened? Yes, it was not only that hard, but you ended up injuring yourself. Have you ever used the statement: ‘Look I know what I am talking about, so listen up.’ or, a variation of that? Now that you actually see it in print, what does it really look like? Arrogant, pushy, uncaring, unmoving, or are you just that big of a pinhead? How can your way be possibly the only way? I go back to the three right turns equals one left scenario. Now don’t get me wrong, I am a person with an incredibly big ego and have been a pinhead, nitwit, cocky, knucklehead and moron, but as life goes on and we learn more and more valuable lessons and grow, I have learned to control my ego, for the most part, instead of letting it control me.
If we look at the definition for ego; a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance, and ask do we give ourselves that importance, or, is it others that decide how important we actually are? Just because I state and think that I am the best, does not necessarily make it so. It does however push us to be better and work at becoming a better person, worker or athlete. I truly believe that we all have an ingrained attitude for winning and that attitude comes from our ego. Without it, we would just simply roll over and not get out of bed in the morning; this is just more prevalent in some than others.
‘Know your enemy and know yourself and you can fight a hundred battles without disaster.’ Sun Tzu.
There it is, the secret to defeating your toughest opponent; be aware of it. In all walks of life be it either personal or professional, it will be there. Be wary of it, know it, embrace it and before you act or say something, decide whether you are in control of it, or, is it controlling you. It’s not easy because you are consciously and constantly in conflict with yourself, but then, there is nothing worth accomplishing that is easy. Think as you are acting or speaking, ‘how would I feel if I was the recipient?’ You may need to apologize more. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that and in today’s business culture, it is actually a sign of strength. Don’t take the giant leap and hurt yourself. Instead, take the four or eight or even twelve steps to get to that same point. Not only will you get there safer, but you get to enjoy the journey so much more. The ego is truly a powerful foe, but also a great ally as long as you know it and realize that it is just a part of your whole being and not the full you. That is, unless you let it.